R.I.P.D is D.O.A

R.I.P.D.
1 Star

R_I_P_D__Poster

Stop me if you have heard this before. Two mis-matched cops, one older and by the book and straight-laced and the other younger, hipper and more willing to break the rules to get the job done. They are assigned to a stop secret police for to deal with under cover supernatural beings that live amongst the living undetected. They must learn to not only get along but learn to work together to save Earth from certain doom. Any guesses what movie I am describing? Well if you guessed MEN IN BLACK you would be correct but only in this case I am referring to R.I.P.D, one of the worst films of not only the summer but of the year.

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You see the R.I.P.D has been around for hundreds of years and its newest recruit is Nick Walker (Ryan Reynolds) who is a Boston police officer who is recently dead due to a few bullets to the face by his partner (Kevin Bacon). Even if you had no idea that Nick was going to die, their brief exchange in a police locker room pretty much screams it. Newly dead Nick is transported to the R.I.P.D department where he is given his assignment. Now Nick never questions this and never wonders if he is dreaming or never has any level of skepticism. Within five minutes of being told his “fate” he is suited up and ready to go. The “screenplay” and I’m using this term loosely has no time for character development in its 96 minute running time. He is partnered with Roy Pulsipher (Jeff Bridges) who has been in the R.I.P.D. since the days of the old west. The two are sent back to Earth to pick up rouge dead people for reasons that I cannot recall and do not care enough to try to remember. There is one sequence that I just did not understand. The “bad” dead guys are brought to the headquarters and there is one half of a cubie thing that is important to the plot. Bad guy arrives and the second half of the cubie thing is placed right next to other half and the two pieces come together and the effect is that it temporary freezes all member of the R.I. P.D. EXCEPT for the bad guys. Now, how did bad guy know that his half was going to be placed RIGHT next to other half and why does the freezing not affect the bad guys? There is no explanation whatsoever. Oh and did I mention that people can’t see Nick and Roy as their normal selves but are seen an old Chinese guy and a hot blonde. That too but minimal screen time is given to this fact. More stuff happens, there is a surprise twist that quite frankly does not pass the laugh test, the two save the day, a sequel is set up and the credits roll.

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This film is a mess but it does have three funny moments but that is still not enough for me to recommend it. The three leads look bored and you can almost see them cursing out their agents in their minds. Reynolds and Bridges have no chemistry and it doesn’t help that Bridges is playing his TRUE GRIT character (this is the first acting jog he has had since that role) and to say it seems like he belongs in a different movie. I did not like this rip-off of a movie at all. To call this movie a rip-off is an insult to rip-offs. The special effects in the film are laughable and to call them special effects are an insult to special effects. Oh I almost forgot the film is also in 3D which added nothing. To call this a 3D movie is an insult to…well you get the point. Everyone involved should be ashamed and it is quite obvious that the studio is not proud of the film either. It opens July 19th and was screened for critics July 18th, not enough time for reviews to get written and published. Thank God for the internet. Avoid this film at all cost. It is a monumental waste of time.

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